Drunken Disillusionment
by Unadulterated Ebilness
Summary: Oliver Wood knows two truths: that the universe revolves around Quidditch and that Gryffindors and Slytherins hate each other, no exceptions. Or. . . that's what he THOUGHT. One-shot humorfic with many GS relationships.


For Oliver Wood, there has always been certain truths he had based his life on: Quidditch rules the universe, and Gryffindors and Slytherins don't mix... and they ESPECIALLY don't shag.  Well, while no one has managed to convince him the unlikeliness of the first one... he's about to be brought crashing down to reality when he learns about the partners of three certain Chasers...

Thalia: Bwhahaha. I coerced another person into collabing with me on a fic. This one is particularly evil, with lots of snark, spastic!Oliver Wood, and Gryffindor/Slytherin relationships to make things fun. And since it's written with the loffly Sky, you know it's got to be good ~_^.

Sky: That's it... the world is coming to an end. Surely two people as ebil as Thalia and I shouldn't be allowed to collab. I mean, really... you just can't get more ebil than that. XD Yes folks: you're doomed. But doomed in a good way, never fear. I had WAY too much fun writing this... spastic!Oli is just so loffable. **huggles him** Enjoy ya'll... and leave us some loffly reviews so we make bask in the glory of our ebilness. **bows**  
  


  
  


~*~ Drunken Disillusionment ~*~

"AND HIGGS AND QUIRKE ARE DIVING, THE SNITCH IS FLITTING CLOSE TO THE NORTHERN STANDS, NEAR THE GROUND! HIGGS DOES... IS THAT A PLUMPTON PASS?! WHY YES IT IS! TERENCE HIGGS, PUDDLEMERE SEEKER, SHAKES THE SNITCH OUT OF HIS SLEEVE AND PUDDLEMERE WINS THE GAME, 400/230!" The exuberantly loud voice of the commentator blared out across the stadium as the Puddlemere team, flushed and triumphant, lowered to the ground amidst cheers from their fans. Oliver Wood, wiping his sweaty brow with the back of a gloved hand, took several deep, steadying breaths as he landed and dismounted.

Higgs was already steady on his feet when Oliver approached, and giving his captain and former rival a smarmy smirk. "Well, Wood, aren't you going to launch into a lovely panegyric detailing my masterful win of this game and reward me with women, wine and song?"

Wood rolled his eyes and scowled, but muttered a "Good work, Higgs." The Seeker was the only Slytherin on his team, but despite this seeming isolation, Terence was rather cheerful most of the time, seemingly with two hobbies that tied in to each other. Besides playing Seeker, the 24 year old Slytherin, featured amongst "Top Ten Sex-Gods on Broomsticks" by Witch Weekly, loved to flirt with former rival Chaser Alicia Spinnet, also on the team, and thereby pissing off Oliver Wood, his captain and Alicia's self-appointed 'big brother'. It was debatable whether Higgs more enjoyed Alicia's half-snarky, half-flirty bantering, or Wood's murderous expression.

Right now, though, Terence was looking mightily smug as Alicia, her smooth cheeks flushed scarlet from the wind and the warmth, ran up to him and gaily congratulated him on the flawlessly performed pass. The Slytherin, smirking at Oliver Wood, thanked her graciously and gave her a slight twirl in his arms before setting the laughing young woman back on her feet. Sensing another potential fight between Wood and Higgs (in which the former would inevitably go into a tizzy and the latter would smirk infuriatingly and relentlessly until his face started to hurt), Chaser Zachary Turpin suggested that they leave the premises and head on out towards the Fat Fwooper pub before they were swamped by reporters and fangirls (or fanboys, as far as Alicia and fellow former Gryffindor Kirsten Bundy were concerned). He, Zach, would submit a statement on behalf of the team tomorrow for the media, and though he didn't know about the smirker, the seether, and the sexy evil vixen in the middle of the pitch, HE wanted a nice ale.

Ever intelligent and canny, Ravenclaws were. As the rest of the team Disapparated after Zach off the pitch, Oliver Wood shot Terence Higgs a look of frustration as the Seeker slung an arm around his female teammate before they too followed the others.

~*~

The party was, as most victory parties tended to be, very rowdy, loud, and entertaining. As more and more exaggerated and comical re-enactments of various game highlights were performed by the more outrageous team members, the alcohol flowed freely, and by the time that the place finally quieted, there were various team members sprawled in their chairs, snoring, while others had gone home, staggering onto the Knight Bus. 

Two of them, however, were unaccounted for.

Perhaps if Wood had been paying more attention... perhaps if he hadn't had one drink too many with his teammates, celebrating the win and laughing with the others before he, too, had fallen into a doze on one of the many comfy chairs...   
  
Perhaps he would have noticed a certain Seeker tugging on a certain Chaser's robes, getting her attention and then crooking his finger sexily at her until she grinned like a Kneazle being handed its canary and followed him down one of the dark corridors that led to the larger rooms meant for balls and parties.   
  
But Oliver had not seen this, and as far as Alicia and Terence were concerned... all the better.   
  
She hadn't had much to drink; alcohol and Alicia never got along too well, but she was still feeling decidedly giddy when Ter suddenly stopped, spun her around, and all but pinned her against a door. "Ter, what do you think you're..." He silenced her with his lips over hers, his arms braced against the door she leaned upon.   
  
At first, she thought the poor boy must have had FAR too much to drink... He had always flirted with her... teased and waggled his eyebrows and given her his trademarked smirk... but he had never gone farther than some playful hugs or victory pecks on the cheek. If anything, she had always assumed they were friends, and he was just having some fun... not that she minded. But now, this...   
  
This...   
  
This felt pretty damn good.   
  
Her eyes, having widened with surprise, fluttered shut at the first stroke of his tongue seeking entrance. Angling her head to deepen the kiss, her arms slid up to curl around his neck, and she could feel his arms wrapping around her waist. She had no idea how long they stood there, snogging each other senseless, but, when he pulled back, she was breathless, her lips red and swollen and her eyes wide as she looked up into his own dark eyes.   
  
"That was... wow...."   
  
Terence smiled. Not smirked... not grinned... but smiled. "Is that all you can say, love?"   
  
Her gaze became confused. "I... but I thought... I mean, why would you ever... with me..." She was almost relieved when he silenced gently with a finger pressed to her lips, as she was only babbling incoherently.   
  
"Ali, do you have any idea how long it took me to get up the guts to do that?" Her expression softened, and encouraged, he continued. "You're a sexy, fiery witch... and I was never sure if you would want a... bloke like me." He didn't bother to elaborate. Nearly the entire wizarding world knew he'd had his fair share of women in his bed.   
  
Unsure whether SHE had too much to drink, or if maybe she was just getting high off this warm feeling in her chest, Alicia leaned up and gave him a soft kiss. "I find that rather sweet actually... especially considering the one whose arse I've been admiring for the past few months..." Ter arched his eyebrows at this, his smirk back with a vengeance. Alicia had the grace to blush, but she grinned all the same. "Well... I'm rather touched that you were too shy to just ask me. If I had known you could kiss like THAT... I would have..."   
  
There was a sudden clack of a shutting door, and footsteps heading their way.   
  
"Shite!" Ter cursed under his breath, and Ali quite agreed with him. While making out wasn't exactly forbidden... the last thing they needed was for someone they new to walk by... or worse yet, a worker who would inform her very protective captain as to where they were. And now the footsteps were getting closer to the corner just down the hall...   
  
Thinking fast, Alicia pulled out her wand, pointed it at the door handle, and whispered, "_Alohomora_!" The door gave a small click before swinging open. She didn't bother telling him what to do: as soon as she had slipped into the room, he followed, shutting the door behind them and they both leaned against it to listen to the steps as they came nearer... and nearer...   
  
And then they passed, not even slowing as they went sailing right by their door.   
  
Letting out a breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding, Terence buried his face in Ali's hair, his arms wrapping around her from behind. "That was close. Brilliant thinking, love."   
  
"Well, _someone_ has to be the brains of this outfit..."   
  
"Oi! That's below the belt, that is!"   
  
Giggles erupted from her as his hands tickled ruthlessly at her sides, and she twisted to try to get away. His hold was strong though, and he pulled her along as she writhed and squirmed in a vain attempt to escape. He only stopped when there was a table behind her, and he spun her around before she could even register that he had stopped and pulled her into a deep, intimate kiss. Instantly she quieted, going soft and pliable in his arms. Grinning into the kiss, he gently backed her up until she was sitting on the edge of the table, her legs curling around his hips.   
  
Their hands were everywhere; touching, gliding, petting, stroking, and trying their damnedest to remove the obstacle provided by their clothing without pulling their lips apart. Panting, Ter finally pulled back, stilling her hands for a moment with his. "Ali... you sure you want to do this?"   
  
"Let's see... I'm somewhere I'm really not supposed to be, where we could both get caught and get in huge trouble, not to mention the fact that Oliver would have kneazle kits if he saw us... Yeah, I think I'm at the 'I sure as hell am not turning back now' stage," she said, grinning.   
  
Ter snickered. "No need for sarcasm love. I just... wanted to make sure."   
  
Her grinned softened to a touched smile. "I know... but believe me... I want this."   
  
"So do I," he whispered, his breath hot against her cheek as his lips traced her jaw line. "So do I..."   
  
And for a while after that, they didn't say much else.   
  
~*~   
  
  
"Really, Mr. Wood. I told you already; I came down this way myself just last night and I didn't see a soul!"   
  
Needless to say, Oliver didn't listen at all as the curly haired blond followed him helplessly. He had the rest of the team searching, although they seemed far less concerned than he, for two had not checked with him before taking off. And no one had reported them leaving... so they were here SOMEwhere...   
  
He barged through everything door in the hall, leaving the poor woman trailing behind him to close them in his wake. Each one he scanned with eyes that at that moment would have made a Seeker proud before storming off to the next room.   
  
Chairs... tables... tablecloths... glassware... silverware...two bodies entwined on one of the tables underneath a pair of robes...more chairs...   
  
_Wait a bloody second_.   
  
Having already turned to move on to the next room, he caught the expression on the Fat Fwooper employee's face, and her eyes were practically bugging out, her mouth shaped like an 'O'. Very slowly, he turned back to the room, and there, on the last table in a long row of them, was Terence... lying with... NO... lying _on_ Alicia... both fast asleep... and it looked like the set of robes was the only cover they had, considering the bare limbs that stuck out from beneath it.   
  
There were about five full seconds of silence, and then...   
  
"HIGGS!!!!"   
  
Ter's head snapped up as he shouted in surprise, waking up the woman beneath him as she gasped, her eyes flying open. Both took one look at the two people standing in the doorway, one in shock and the other on the verge of becoming the first-ever human volcano, and groaned. Just peachy.   
  
"Higgs," Oliver snarled through clenched teeth, "You've got a lot of explaining to do before I..."   
  
"Hex me into oblivion. Yes, yes, I know. You mind clearing off for a tic? We're not exactly... er, dressed..." Ter said, cutting him off.   
  
"Clear off? Clear OFF? So you can WHAT??" their enraged captain all but shouted.   
  
"Get some clothes on, maybe?" Terence replied smoothly. "'Cause while I know you've seen boys while in the lockers, I don't think Ali would appreciate you seeing her..." He didn't finish, but jerked his head towards Ali, who had turned crimson and burrowed under him farther to hide herself from Oliver's gaze.   
  
Wood and the employee left so fast, one would have almost thought they had Apparated. Once outside and the door closed, Oliver stared at the wall across the hall, already feeling his protective temper beginning to boil over. It was at that moment, the young woman found her tongue and said, almost dazed, "Well... that's the last time we ever use THAT tablecloth..."   
  
She fled the moment Oliver's glare landed on her.   
  
Bloody bint... who did she think she was? Like Ali would do... do THAT with a bloke like Higgs... despite the obvious evidence that they indeed....   
  
Feeling like he was going to burst with the sheer amount of fury mounting inside of him, he whirled and slammed the door open. Alicia was perched on the edge of the table, dressed, although her robes where still unfastened, and trying to comb her hair with her hand. Terence, who apparently had helped her locate her discarded clothing and helped her to dress, had just slipped his boxers to his hips when Oliver burst in. Feeling quite snarky after such a rude awakening, Terence called out, "Why, Oliver old boy! If you really wanted to see me starkers, you should have said something! I don't mind putting on a show now and then... so long as you look and don't touch." He gave the Scot his classic eyebrow waggle.   
  
The red that had flowed to Oliver's face in his anger suddenly drained at the Slytherin's words. Rather repulsed, he snapped, "Oh, just what I need... to be blinded by the sight of your arse..."   
  
"HEY! My arse is very sexy, thank you so very much!" Terence responded, offended. But then he smirked and added, "Ali said so."   
  
He wasn't sure which part set him off more... the fact that Higgs was actively baiting him as he always enjoyed doing... that he had called Alicia by her pet name... or that he claimed that she liked his arse... but what he did know, was that he had reached his limit. He marched over to where Terence was tucking his shirt back into his pants and released his fury on his Seeker, his hands waving madly as the color in his face turned lobster red. "YOU MANIPULATING SON OF A...!! I SHOULD HAVE YOU HEXED BEYOND RECOGNITION, SKINNED, AND YOUR INNARDS FED TO A DRAGON FOR USING ALICIA LIKE THAT!!! BETTER YET, I'LL PERSONALLY FEED YOU TO A PACK OF QUINTAPED!!! SHE'S NOT LIKE YOUR IDIOTIC LITTLE BIMBOS WHO COME AT YOUR BECK AND CALL AND SHE IS THE LAST PERSON TO DESERVE A CAD LIKE YOU TRYING TO GET INTO HER..."   
  
"Oliver, please!!" Alicia shouted, miraculously managing to stop Oliver's tirade as Terence found himself leaning father and father away, suddenly realizing how scary his captain could really be when he was properly hacked off. But when she knew she had Oliver's attention, she continued, more quietly, "Ter didn't manipulate me... he didn't force me or make me do anything I didn't want to do. It was just... something we both wanted."   
  
Catching the look of gratitude on Terence's face out of the corner of his eyes, he turned back to his cowering Seeker and getting right in his face, ground out, "What do you have her on? A spell? A love potion? I swear, if you did anything to her, I'll..."   
  
"There you are!"   
  
Oliver spun around, and Terence stole his chance to slip over next to Ali and put some distance between and the madman. Kirsten walked in, looking relieved, followed closely by their other three teammates, Seamus, Zach, and Sam. "We were worried when Wood said you two were missing. I'm glad it was nothing serious."   
  
"Nothing SERIOUS??" Oliver said with a voice that cracked, startling the new comers at how... worked up he seemed. "They SHAGGED in the middle of a bloody DINING ROOM where ANYONE could have seen and Higgs MUST have done SOMETHING to Alicia 'cause there's not way if she were in her right mind that she would..."   
  
"Ha-ha!" Zach interrupted, a grin spreading across his face. "The bet's mine then! Cough up you two..." He held his hand out, and with a groan and some dark mutters, Seamus and Sam dug through their pockets and gave him a couple of Galleons.   
  
It was enough to confuse Oliver out of his temper. Staring at the exchange, he managed to find his voice and ask, "Bet? What bet?"   
  
"On when Terence and Alicia would shag." That was Kirsten, and Oliver looked at her with an expression that was a cross of confusion and sheer bewilderment... and a bit of shock. "They... but how did they..."   
  
"Know? Easy. These two," she jerked her head at the couple in question, who were looking at the three boys rather amused, "Have been eyeing each other for months now... but neither ever made any move to take things farther. So the knuckleheads," there was a cry of denial from Zach, Seamus, and Sam, "decided to hold a bet on when they thought the two would finally do it. Seamus said Christmas, Sam declared sometime after the New Year, and Zach took any time before Christmas. So..." she smirked, "he won the bet."   
  
"But... but..." Poor Oliver's head was spinning. Where was the logic? How could they think that Ali would ever... with a git like Terence Higgs... Where they all daft?? "No Gryffindor mate of MINE would ever willingly shag a Slytherin," he stated firmly, finding a bit more familiarity and steady ground preaching what he deemed infallible.   
  
His confidence nose-dived when he saw his teammates exchanging looks. "Er... Oli? You haven't heard then? About... Angie?" Ali said tentatively.   
  
"Angelina? Angelina Johnson? What about her? She's with Fred, isn't she?" She had to be... she HAD to be...   
  
"Um... well, no. She's been dating Solan Montague for three months now."   
  
At that moment, Oliver felt as if he had stepped onto a spinning platform: his world... everything he had built it up to be... things he had considered truths... were crumbling all around him. It was over... his world was over... But wait! "Well, at least Katie would never get with a Slytherin," Oliver said, relieved to put his faith in something that never failed him before. Quiet and sweet, she was all Gryffindor, but with enough sugar that no Slytherin would ever pursue her. No sir! She'd be with a nice Hufflepuff, or maybe even a Ravenclaw...   
  
"Oh, you haven't heard about that either?" came Terence's cheerful voice, shattering Oliver's safe little haven.   
  
"About... what...?" the Scot croaked, terrified about what he was about to hear. Although, if two of his former Chasers were already with Slytherins, it wasn't like things could get any worse...   
  
"She's been engaged for a week now. She's getting married to Marcus Flint."   
  
Scratch that: it just got worse.   
  
When a full minute passed and Oliver neither moved nor spoke, but continued to stare at Terence with a shocked expression, Alicia asked softly, "Oli? You okay?"   
  
Without a word, the lad turned slowly and made his way to the door. When Ali called after him, asking him where he was going, he answered dazedly, "To get really drunk."   
  
"Come off it, mate!" Zach cried, surprised. "You were just drunk last night!"   
  
"Yeah, well I need to get drunk again. Really, really, _really_ drunk." And he disappeared.   
  
The other members of Puddlemere United stared at each other, silent as Terence shrugged on his robes and Kirsten plopped down next to Ali on the table, copying the older girl and taking one of the pillows that was lying on the table onto her lap. "These are nice, " she commented, not knowing what else to say.   
  
Alicia grinned. "Ter transfigured some napkins into them. Certainly made things more comfortable..."   
  
"I'll just bet," Kirsten replied, smirking.   
  
They both looked up when Terence cleared his throat, finished fastening his robes. "So... as far as Wood goes... I think he took the news rather well, don't you?"   
  
Seamus and Zach, who were standing behind the Seeker, ducked out of the way as two pillows got up close and personal with Terence's face.

~*~

The door of the Shifty Niffler slammed open as a man, his head buried in his hands and a low moaning sound emitting from his mouth, stalked inside, evidently in great distress. Plopping himself down at the closest empty table, he bellowed for a waitress to bring over a bottle of firewhiskey immediately.

"Er, yes, sir," the young woman gave the top of the man's head an odd look, for his face was buried in his arms, "Is… something wrong?"

"They're bloody trying to _take over the universe_ is what they're doing," a muffled wail came from the head, "Ruddy snarky scheming bastards… seducing one innocent Gryffindor at a time… they're here to spread their insanity to the rest of the defenseless world…"

Oh, another conspiracy theorist. The waitress sighed and rolled her eyes slightly, before walking off to fetch the man's drink. With luck, he'd get sloshed, pass out, and stop wailing.

But even as the man, who'd finally lifted his head away from his hands to drink his alcohol, became quiet, the peace was broken once again when two young witches, who'd been sipping iced butterbeers and reading Witch Weekly with the occasional giggle, suddenly snapped their heads up and fixed their predatory gazes upon the young man sitting in the corner gulping down Ogden's Old Firewhiskey.

The blonde gave a little squeak, before she practically threw herself forward. "Oh MERLIN!" her voice was shriller than a porcine squeal, "CASSANDRA!! IT'S OLIVER WOOD!! AHHHHH!!!!!!!"

"WHY YES IT IS! OH MY GAAAAWWWWWD, MELISSA!!" The redheaded one called Cassandra shrieked as well, and both girls advanced forward, patting their hair and robes as they practically threw themselves forward, and Oliver, who'd been startled out of his wretched speculations, gave a little exclamation of surprise before he groaned. Two members of the species _Squeeus fangirlitus_ directly incoming. This was just NOT his day…

"Er… hi, ladies," he muttered, moving his precious oblivion-inducing drink out of the way as they reached his table and immediately pressed in, even as he leaned back uncomfortably, "Breathing room would be nice… er… really, now…"

He was so busy trying to move the blonde Melissa to a spot where it would be impossible for her to crawl into his lap, as was obviously his intention, that he didn't hear the bell on the door of the pub jingle again, or see the dark-haired woman stride into the pub, silk robes of forest green billowing around her.

He did, however, take notice when shouts of "_Stupefy!_" rang out, and the blonde who had been well on her way to sexually molesting him suddenly slumped into a heap on the ground, along with her companion. Startled, his eyes shifted from the Stunned girls who were being levitated towards a couch by the door, to the mysterious saviour who had rescued him from simultaneous deafening and strangulation. A young woman as well, smirking slightly in amusement even as she tucked her wand back in a pocket. "Popular thing you are," she called out, her voice cool.

"Er…" Oliver wasn't quite sure how to answer this question, and looked at the girl in confusion. She looked about his age, perhaps a year or two younger, but he certainly couldn't place her. "Who are you?"

"My name is Risa," she answered, not offering any surname. Walking forward until she was standing in front of his table, she raised an eyebrow. "And why might you be drinking yourself silly, Wood?"

"Why do you want to know?" he asked, slightly suspicious. The young woman flicked a sheaf of straight dark hair behind her back and gave a shrug.

"One would think that the victory party after a Quidditch game would have been yesterday, and therefore, you would be too hung-over today to want to get drunk again," she remarked, raising an eyebrow as she gracefully sat down next to him. "Forgive me for being curious... and moreover, you should remember that unlike THOSE two," she pointed at the two still-unconscious girls by the door, "I haven't any intention of raping you."

"I s'pose you're right," he sighed, gulping down another large swallow of firewhiskey and sputtering slightly before fixing on the girl a very forlorn expression. "It's just... things are all WROOONG!"

"Oh, really?" she ordered a glass of orange juice and seltzer, and a plate of biscuits. "I don't seem to see the sun crashing into the earth yet. Or little piglets floating about with wings. How is everything wrong?"

"Alicia... and Angie... and Katie... ALL OF THEM!" he wailed, taking another gulp of the firewhiskey and tears (either from the fiery alcohol or the anguish in his heart) coming to his eyes. "With... with Slytherins! Alicia Spinnet shagging Terence bloody playboy Higgs! Angie apparently with Montague and Katie... with... with Marcus FLINT!" He sighed, a brooding expression on his face. "I'd known them since they were THREE FEET TALLLLL..." Well. Maybe about four and a half feet. "SLYTHERINS!"

"Poor you," she bit down a smirk, "Must be hard to swallow, hmm? The idea of Slytherins being somewhat human, too... what an outlandish notion!"

"I know," the semi-plastered man leaned towards her, resting his tearful face against the shoulder of her robes and breathing toxic alcohol fumes down her neck. "It's INSANE... how could they?!"

"It happens," she remarked lightly, "My brother's getting married to the last person that anyone, even himself, expected him to. But they apparently love each other."

He gave a forlorn noise that sounded suspiciously like a sniffle, and she carefully disengaged his head from her shoulder, giving the short brown locks a pat. "There, there... it's not that bad. But people are staring, and although I can't say anything for you, I would prefer not to give the impression that I have a mother complex or something, with a great big lug of a Scot blubbering all over me."

He moved away slightly, now hunching over the table and reaching for his drink again. She took a sip of her own drink before sliding the plateful of biscuits towards him. "Have some food... and, what's the matter with Gryffindors with Slytherins? Are your housemates complaining about being poorly treated?"

"N-no..." he mumbled reluctantly, "It's just... so... Slytherins... we all hated them in school..."

"And the sentiment was returned," Risa said wryly, "But you're no longer in school. And all of us are no longer so young. Things aren't that simple any more, either. You should stop thinking that all Slytherins are terrible, depraved Death-eating demons."

"They're not?"

She gave a slight snort. "No, they're not. Believe it or not, I knew a number of decent Slytherins when I was in school. Snarky and sarcastic at times, sure, but nevertheless, they meant well, in their own way."

"You?" he looked at her in unabashed surprise. A pretty little thing like her? The Slytherins would tear her apart... wouldn't they? 

"Oh yes," she nodded decisively, chewing on a biscuit and taking another swallow of her drink. "Why, if it hadn't been for Cassius helping me out my 5th year, I'd never have made it out of my Transfiguration OWL alive... and there was that time when there was the Yule Ball at Hogwarts..."

"Cassius?" Wood looked confused for a few moments, before his face took on a disgusted look, "Cassius WARRINGTON? You went to that ball with HIM? He's EEEEVIL!"

She shrugged, nostalgically, "He was a friend, you might say. I was originally going to go with this bloke from Ravenclaw, but he left me when this blonde girl named Juliette from Beauxbatons he'd really had his eyes on asked him. Cassius found out, and he took me. Also obligingly hexed the bloke with an elephant's trunk the next day."

"You're dating Warrington, then?" It was, somehow, a very difficult concept to swallow. 

She laughed, "Of course not. Last I heard, he was seeing a former Ravenclaw, so you can rest easy with the knowledge that he, at least, is not out evilly seducing Gryffindors. But I should add that the Ravenclaw in question has Muggleborn parents, which proves my point that not all Slytherins are death-chomping menaces to the human race, which they, too, are a part of."

He had to concede rather grudgingly that she had a point. But even so, he pouted rebelliously at her even as he took up one of the biscuits. She gave him a sardonic look at and drawled, "Now, now. None of that," as though he were a child being told that no, he couldn't have a fifth slice of chocolate cake. With a sigh and a slight roll of the eyes, she looked at him squarely and said, "Look... you've known these girls a long time, right?"  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
"Well, then you should know that they probably trust you and your opinion a great deal. Don't you think if they were REALLY in a relationship they didn't want to be in... they might have come to you for help by now? To smite their unpleasant and insignificant others, if nothing else?"  
  
"Of course they would have!!" Oliver said without thinking. "They... oh, bugger," he finished with a mutter, realizing what he had just agreed to.  
  
"They trust you," Risa said, smirking widely now. "So stop wibbling and eat some of those and get some coffee too while you're at it so you won't have something to REALLY moan and groan over: a hangover." With that, she slid out of her seat, leaving enough coins to cover the food and drinks, Oliver's included, and with a final pat on his drooping head, swept out of the pub.  
  
The bartender, who had been watching most of the exchange with an amused look on his face, came over, bearing a cup of strong coffee and put it in front of the defeated looking lad who accepted it without a word. Smiling, the older man counted the coins into a pocket on his apron, saying kindly, "Don't take it too hard, m'boy. Just like her brother, she is. All Flints have a way of making others feel a touch on the smaller side."  
  
Oliver nodded dully, taking a swig of his coffee... but when the scalding liquid hit his tongue, waking him out of his drunken stupor, his brain suddenly registered the name the bartender had just used. Several of the customers started when they heard him spitting his coffee right back out before yelping, quite loudly, "FLINT???? She's a FLINT???"  
  
Blinking owlishly, the bartender nodded. "Aye. I thought you knew... you seemed familiar enough with her... and she went to Hogwarts just like you. A Slytherin too, but then, most Flints are."  
  
_'My brother's getting married to the last person that anyone, even himself, expected him to.'_ Great Godric... she was referring to Marcus and Katie. Gods help him. No… apparently the gods and spirits and all other powers that be were certainly against him.  
  
It was the invasion of the bloody Slytherins. Run for the hills.  
  
The bartender looked on, more amused than ever, as Oliver's forehead met the tabletop with a solid 'thunk'.

~*~

The wedding was a truly grandiose affair, on that cool autumn day. The family of the groom, certainly not lacking in wealth, had seen to it that no expenses were spared for their son and heir. On the spacious grounds about the stately manor, a cobblestone avenue had been covered with enchanted rose petals, ending under an arch of wrought iron softened by deep green ivy and beautified by even more roses. And the guests gathered about on the lawns as the two former students from rival houses were pronounced man and wife. As the young man, with a triumphant sort of expression on his face, pulled his beaming bride towards him and kissed her soundly on the lips, all the guests, even the ones who were still rather disbelieving of the pair, clapped and cheered.  
  


Risa Flint, resplendent in mint-green silk, gave one of the audience members a slight smirk as she and the other bridesmaids followed the newlyweds down the aisle.  
  


As a laughing Alicia Spinnet caught the bridal bouquet from her former teammate's arms with the same ease she'd used to catch the Quaffle, Oliver watched smarmy womanizer Terence Higgs wrap an arm around the young woman's waist, gently nuzzling her hair, an almost unconscious gesture of affection. He shook his head and sighed, before going forward to offer his congratulations to the bride and (widely smirking) groom.  
  


And then, as everyone streamed indoors to the brightly decorated ballroom, where servants with platters of champagne and food walked about in between the milling guests, Oliver approached Risa Flint with a wry expression on his face. She didn't seem surprised, or fazed in any way, to see him.

"Well, well," she raised an eyebrow and pointed at the glass of champagne he held in one hand, "I hope that you're not planning to get smashed again tonight."

"I won't," he promised, glancing about the room and watching his former Chasers, including the blushing bride, dancing with those 'evil Slytherin men' that they'd evidently chosen. Shaking his head slowly, he sighed. "Y'know, I suppose you're right... not all Slytherins are... completely evil..."  
  


"Of course I'm right," she replied with a complacent grin, "Now, was that so hard to admit?"  
  
Bending slightly closer to her and giving a slight pout, he whispered, "... Yes..." 

She laughed, and perhaps would have shot back some biting remark, had it not been for the fact that loud footsteps suddenly approached, and an irate voice snarled in Oliver's ear. "What in the bloody blazes do you think you're DOING, cozying up to my sister like that?!"  
  


The formerly almost-jovial groom was glaring at Oliver Wood with the same sort of venomous hatred that had characterized their relationship in school as sworn rivals. Oliver felt himself bristling automatically, and glared right back. "I am doing NOTHING with your sister, Flint," he growled, "I've not been anything but the perfect gentleman!"  
  
Risa, watching her brother spring to her defense at the other man, shook her head wryly. Well, Wood HAD been fairly decent, as far as blokes went. Aside from whining at her and wailing into her shoulder that one time...  
  
Katie appeared at her husband's side a moment later, laying a placating hand on the man's arm. "Marcus," she whispered, "You know that Risa is capable of taking care of himself... and I think that Oliver doesn't have any intention of hurting her anyway."  
  
"Of course I don't!" Oliver snapped.  
  


Flint gave Oliver a long, stern 'behave-less-than-impeccably-and-I'll-brain-you-with-your-own-broomstick-after-force-feeding-you-corrosive-potion' sort of glare, and backed off, muttering something about ruddy pretty-boys making the moves on a perfectly decent girl.  
  
The parallels of that little episode, to a certain earlier one involving themselves, was not lost on Alicia and Terence, who laughed lightly as they resumed their dancing, arms around each other and moving in perfect unison.  
  
Oliver, meanwhile, had turned back to Risa, who was shaking her head. Giving her a bewildered look, he ventured a question. "Slytherins get overprotective too?!"  
  


The young woman gave him a long look, before stepping up to him and standing on her tiptoes, her cheek pressed against his own as she whispered into his ear.  
  
"There are still a lot of things that you don't know about Slytherins."  
  



End file.
